This hit so hard. I saw a sparrow chick who fell out of its nest on my running path the other day. FWIW the part I'm most interested here is: "The cascading internet queries materialize next: how to incubate birds, how long until bird eggs hatch, what can baby birds eat, can you keep wild birds as pets, how long do birds live, pet stores near me…" Would love to see a spinoff where all of these things end up happening somehow!
Dude! Well done!! Appreciate a lot about this one. Think I most liked that the ending felt earned from the opening lines. When we first meet the mother she’s so matter of fact about the bird being dead, there wasn’t a false hope created by the character’s thoughts, even if the reader is hoping for a happier ending.
Little details… the boy’s pale skin. He’s a little guy so I get he’s not outside all the time but it was a cool way of showing a mother who doesn’t let him out much as it’s at least late spring or summer.
I also wondered if the bird was a goldfinch, fun way to hint at bad luck. Goldfinches are born later too, late summer.
The bird being found in the shadow, near the bin. As if it had fallen short of its fate, and sat in the dark. Couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how the mom feels about herself.
Thanks for sharing your work from these exercises. I couldn’t fit the Craig Clevenger class in at this time but really hoping Emil and Craig run this back again.
Thanks, Matt! Glad you got so much out of it. And I know they're running it back at least once more and possibly twice. I'll restack if I see any notes about it. And thanks again!
PS. Purposefully vague about which yellow bird it is because a canary or a goldfinch could add different layer to the story. 😉
This is incredibly strong. The restraint in the prose makes the emotional weight hit even harder. The final decision isn’t dramatized; it’s just human, and that’s what makes it so gutting. Really powerful piece.
The realism in the conversation between Adam and mum is outstanding. So realistic, and not twee at all, which I feel is a trap children's dialogue can often fall into. Really stunning writing!
Fucking haunting. Punched me right in the parent-of-a-young-child guts.
That was the part of the guts I was aiming for. Thanks, Tom!
I loved this. It deserves a re-read. Subtle, full of reality, and the navigation of life’s weird little tests. Dope stuff
Thanks so much, Edward!
This hit so hard. I saw a sparrow chick who fell out of its nest on my running path the other day. FWIW the part I'm most interested here is: "The cascading internet queries materialize next: how to incubate birds, how long until bird eggs hatch, what can baby birds eat, can you keep wild birds as pets, how long do birds live, pet stores near me…" Would love to see a spinoff where all of these things end up happening somehow!
Happy endings aren’t my specialty, that would be a fun way to stretch myself.
Thanks, Denise!
not having kids, I'm glad ill never have to explain death to a child. Once you explain death...you have to explain the point of life. to yourself.
100%, Nick.
Breathtaking (in gut twisting kind of way) ending. What a story.
I mean, I loved the whole story, but when you're done, all you can think of is that ending. Well done.
Thank you, Anne-Marie!
Well, that was horrifying. But I also have a thing about falling into a trash compactor thanks to Superman.
Thanks, BD!
Damn
Dude! Well done!! Appreciate a lot about this one. Think I most liked that the ending felt earned from the opening lines. When we first meet the mother she’s so matter of fact about the bird being dead, there wasn’t a false hope created by the character’s thoughts, even if the reader is hoping for a happier ending.
Little details… the boy’s pale skin. He’s a little guy so I get he’s not outside all the time but it was a cool way of showing a mother who doesn’t let him out much as it’s at least late spring or summer.
I also wondered if the bird was a goldfinch, fun way to hint at bad luck. Goldfinches are born later too, late summer.
The bird being found in the shadow, near the bin. As if it had fallen short of its fate, and sat in the dark. Couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how the mom feels about herself.
Thanks for sharing your work from these exercises. I couldn’t fit the Craig Clevenger class in at this time but really hoping Emil and Craig run this back again.
Thanks, Matt! Glad you got so much out of it. And I know they're running it back at least once more and possibly twice. I'll restack if I see any notes about it. And thanks again!
PS. Purposefully vague about which yellow bird it is because a canary or a goldfinch could add different layer to the story. 😉
God, this hit my mom-heart so hard! So relatable and raw. And the ‘that’s a difficult answer hey you wanna watch tv? -YEAH!’ Is so on point 😂
The oldest trick in the book 😂
🎵 Paw Patrol! 🎵
😂😂
This is incredibly strong. The restraint in the prose makes the emotional weight hit even harder. The final decision isn’t dramatized; it’s just human, and that’s what makes it so gutting. Really powerful piece.
Thank you, Jenifer!
The realism in the conversation between Adam and mum is outstanding. So realistic, and not twee at all, which I feel is a trap children's dialogue can often fall into. Really stunning writing!
Thank you, Gaby! Helps to have a precocious three year old at home
Beautiful work, Vinny. And devastating.
Thank you as always, Liz. 🧡
I like this. The consequences we try to forget must be remembered. This story speaks for the little things that cannot
Thank you, MA!
God *damn* ahh
I don’t have appropriate words for this, fucking well done
Gonna have to change my name to “Damn Reads” lol, thanks Hylia!
Thank you, Roberta!
Thanks, Aaron!